(17) Santa (Sponsor Request)

Dear Santa

Can you help me? I would really like to go into space but not as high or for as long as Tim Peake.

This is how a child would start a Christmas list looking through rose tinted spectacles with their dreams and ambitions still intact, untainted and uncontaminated by the world. I'm not the man they think I am at home. I am a child trapped in an adult's body and I still dream. I'm not the only one.

Although I doubt your existence I believe in belief as a force for good and unfortunately for bad. I want to be good and I want to help others in my own unique way. Please please help me become the first Welsh born UK resident person in space regardless of all my reservations and concerns.

I am scared of heights. I don't like enclosed spaces and I don't enjoy being the centre of attention but I am willing to overcome my fears and even risk my life to do something that I believe in. I pledge to pay £25,000 towards the £100,000 XCOR Space Expeditions ticket price to fly to space and I am looking for commercial sponsors only to bridge the remaining cost. If you are interested in sponsoring me then email here or message me in my Facebook page. I would be eternally grateful. You would pretty much own me.

Why not just spend the £25,000 on good causes?
This is a significant amount of money for most ordinary people including myself. I have never asked for and don't want public donations because these are the very people I am trying to help. I am not rich or famous and I don't have £25,000 but I am willing to borrow that amount because I believe it would be money well spent when you consider the potential payback. The worldwide space industry is predicted to be worth £400 billion by 2030. The UK has ambitions to capture 10% of the market. Just over 20,000 are employed in Wales in aerospace and defence related industries. Universities with research and development linked to hi tech companies are replacing the old heavy industry engines of the first industrial revolution. Wales could even be the location for the UK's first spaceport and once again be the cradle for the next industrial revolution, the space revolution.

I support a spaceport in North Wales not just because it is light years ahead of the rival locations but because the people of Wales deserve it. This isn't just about just bringing tangible benefits like jobs and money into communities. This is about bringing hope. To help inspire the younger generation XCOR Space Expeditions proposed donating a number of talks to Welsh universities if I managed to raise the required ticket price. Dreams and ambitions need to be achievable and there needs to be a purpose. The future needs to better than the past and present and I want to help inspire Wales to be a part of then next tentative steps in space to benefit everyone. Regardless of whether I succeed or not I have asked to be included in a humanitarian mission to Africa in 2016. We are only here for a short time and it would be criminal to not make a difference.

I choose to go to space not because it is easy but because it is hard. It is the most ridiculous, idiotic, impossible thing that I have ever attempted. I am the most unlikely astronaut ever. Unsure and scared, not worthy, out of place, an alien alone in a crowd. The thought of actually succeeding terrifies me.
I am you in someone else but if by some miracle I could make it into space then what could you achieve?

My advice to everyone, old or young regardless of gender, race, religion, sexuality or other demographics is as follows. Don't let go of your dreams. Don't take no for an answer. Don't lose hope. Take small steps towards your dream because even if you don't reach your destination at least you are moving in the right direction.

You have no idea how bright you shine.
Incinerating the void and setting fire to the dark.
Burning brilliantly flawed.


Taffanaut      age 48 ½ yrs

(14) Pope

Your Holiness,

I am not particularly religious but I believe in belief which is why a blessing on my attempt to become the first Welsh born person in space would mean so much to me.

The worldwide aerospace industry is estimated to be worth £400 Billion by 2030 and the UK has set its sights on capturing 10% of that market. The figures are impressive but not my motivation.
We stand at a pivotal point in history at the dawn of commercialized space flight with two main companies jostling for position -

1. Virgin Galactic
2. XCOR Space Expeditions

I am not rich or famous. I wasn't born into money and like most ordinary people the $100,000 ticket price to get into space is beyond me. 

I am scared of heights.

I don't like enclosed spaces.

I value my anonymity,

 but I am prepared to overcome my fears and risk my life to do something impossible that I believe in.

We have a moral obligation to all life everywhere to take the next steps in space exploration and colonization.

I feel obliged to help give hope to others that the future will be better than the past. That no problems are insurmountable.

I want to help make space accessible

Space isn't just for the elite. Space is for everyone. I want to help claim space for ordinary people.

I want to inspire others

I know that getting to space is the most ridiculous, idiotic, impossible thing I have ever attempted. I am not expected to or supposed to succeed and some people would probably be happier if I failed. If I can make it into space then what impossible ambition can others achieve?

I want to help others

XCOR Space Expeditions pledged to donate talks to Welsh universities if I could raise the $100,000 required for the ticket to space. I want to help Welsh universities and to help inspire students and the younger generation to pursue their dreams as well as raising awareness of the coming changes and opportunities for Wales (in my own unique way). I actively support the siting of the UK's first spaceport in Llanbedr (North Wales). 

As I said I am not particularly religious but I believe in belief and a therefore a blessing would mean a great deal to me. 

If you could also bless the Welsh rugby team in the Rugby World Cup that would also be appreciated. They could do with some help.

Regards

Taffanaut     (aged 48½)

(12) The Full Taffanaut

It is not really relevant which company I work for. I am a programmer and I sit all day in an office re-arranging 1's and 0's trying to hack together solutions to problems while awake, asleep or somewhere in-between. In some ways it is like most other jobs. Someone takes credit for the work I do unless I make a mistake which sometimes happens if my mind drifts off to escape my self-inflicted suicide beige painted cell. At least it pays the bills, almost. 

Once born into this world dressed in hope, dreams and ambition, now with more past than future I am bored of the futility of existence. There is a window on the other side of the office and through that window there are some trees with birds in. They hop from branch to branch and tweet to each other. Stupid birds. They cannot appreciate the higher levels of excitement and delight in this world like shiny mobile phones, flat screen TVs or matching luggage sets. There is so much beauty and wonder to see but we blind ourselves with trivial things. I hate it all but there must be more to hate than this.

Everyone in the office was invited to attend a meeting. The birds were not invited. I already knew that bad news was coming but I wasn't prepared for how bad. There were going to be redundancies and more people would be going than would be staying. Was this part of the game? was this the equal and opposing force that I had been expecting that would deny me from being able to pledge 20% of the ticket price? Was I the indirect cause of this mass cull? Why had the birds got off scot free? Then somewhere inside my mind a connection was made. I have what I can only describe as some kind of augmented Tourette's syndrome which has a nasty habit of presenting me with inappropriate thoughts. A song started to play in my head.

Sittin' here eatin' my heart out waitin'
Waitin' for some lover to call
Dialed about a thousand numbers lately
Almost rang the phone off the wall

Lookin' for some hot stuff baby this evenin'
I need some hot stuff baby tonight
I want some hot stuff baby this evenin'

The Full Monty signing on scene had popped into my head. I looked around the room and imagined a room full of programmers gyrating and thrusting their hips in time to the music. Not a pretty sight.

Gotta have some hot stuff
Gotta have some love tonight
I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff

I bit my lip and looked down just as an imaginary red leather thong slid across the boardroom table in front of me, still warm, exhaling as it slumped into a post nuptial exhausted heap.

Was possible redundancy good news or bad news?
I had contacted my favoured commercial sponsor who initially seemed interested and implied that they were considering my proposal but I hadn't heard anything since and realization was slowly setting in that they weren't going to get back in touch. It was too easy to ignore me. I was already considering "going large" in order to get press coverage. Surely the press would love a Full Monty type story about some mad Welsh guy being made redundant and pledging all his redundancy money on a ticket to space. Sponsors would be unable to ignore me. The idea went round and round in my head for days together with the song but in the end I decided that I couldn't go through with it. It would not have been right for me to exploit the situation when people were losing their jobs.

There was a month of redundancy consultations and everyone had a pretty good idea about who would be staying or going by the time they were called into their individual meetings. I bit my lip in my meeting as I was told that I was staying and tried not to think of a piston fisted gibbon, chocolate fudge dragon or salad cream.

It was a relief when the redundancies were over because I had not really been able to focus on anything let alone Taffanaut. I needed to clear my head and get The Taffanaut Chronicles up to date before starting on the final push so one evening I took advantage of the empty house and sat down, booted up my laptop/tray and started getting outside a reheated a left over curry as quick as I could. My aggressive psychotic immune system had other ideas. By the time I suspected that I might be starting to suffer from anaphylactic shock it was too late. Less than a minute later I was face down over the arm of the sofa sweating, shaking, gasping for breath with my heart slowing. I struggled to remain conscious and with my sight failing I watched my hands turn red and start to blister. Getting to the phone or trying to get help was pointless and impossible. I didn't have the ability and I certainly didn't have the time. My brain was quickly calculating and narrowing down all my options and possible outcomes and I was now just a passenger waiting to choose one of the options. There was no emotion, no flashback of life, no tunnel with a light at the end. Somewhere inside there was a disturbingly cold calculating inhuman machine that had no real concern for me but just wanted to survive at all costs. The analysis was completed and there were two options:-

Option 1 : Do not black out, ride it out and then get help.

Option 2 : Probably die

I clenched my muscles fighter pilot style to try and keep conscious. Just before Easter 2014 as the moon turned red during the first of the four Blood Moon lunar eclipses a war raged inside me. Each heartbeat rhythmically exploded into my head with an eye popping psychedelic thud thud thud beat.

Seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactic upsets

Taff a-ah

Saviour of the Universe

Taff a-ah

He'll save every one of us
Taff a-ah
He's a miracle

Do not dispatch war rocket Ajax to bring back his body lovely boy. 

Taffanauts alive! 

Eventually I had enough energy to get to call for help and Nicci drove me to the local A&E department where the staff made sure a bad day didn't get any worse. I was glad that the futility of existence for the one outweighed the nonexistence of the many.

It was too close for comfort and a bit of a wakeup call. I needed to start on the final push before some other correcting force stopped me from deviating from my predefined corridor of possibilities. The birds were still in the tree outside work hopping from branch to branch. Stupid birds. They would never be able to comprehend the full genius/insanity of the plan that had been fermenting in my head. All the options had been analysed and each possible outcome had been simulated. The analysis was complete and there was only one option which could succeed.
It was time.

(11) The Game (Pareidolia)

From an early age we try and make sense of the world that we are born into but we learn far more than we are actually aware of. Sometimes you can almost catch an indirect glimpse of the truth. It's that sudden feeling that something just isn't quite right like the feeling you get when you know that the phone is about to ring before it happens, that feeling that you knew what someone was going to say as they were saying it. Your thought process seems to sharpen as you struggle to grasp on to this valuable revelation before it fades and you return to the real world but for a fraction of a second you felt you were on the verge of understanding. This world isn't quite what it seems. There are rules in this world that we are not fully aware of. Am I as mad as a box of frogs (playing banjos) for writing this? Are you mad for reading it? Read the following scenario and decide.

You are in your car and you have to get to your destination which isn't far away. You don't have much time to spare but you've estimated how long it should take you to get there and you should have enough time. The first traffic light you encounter turns red and holds you up for a minute or two. The next traffic light turns red as you are approaching it and it seems to take an age to turn back to green especially as there doesn't seem to be enough traffic to warrant it staying red for that amount of time. You should recognise and have personal experience of this type of story whether you drive or not. It isn't just the lights that are causing problems. Other drivers are taking too long to decide what to do or are making bad decisions which delays you further. You re-estimate how long it will take you to get to your destination. It will be tight but you should still be able to make it. After all the law of averages mean that some of the lights should be green but on this particular day that doesn't happen and you end up being late.

You may recognise this situation as one that you have experienced and may also recognise that I omitted one aspect of the story. After a few hold ups whether they are caused by other drivers or inanimate traffic lights, you start to object vocally. Some people are really quite good at this. You object to the unfairness of it all but the lights aren't listening. The other drivers can't hear you. There may not even by anyone in the car with you and even if there was surely they couldn't help you. To the casual passer-by you look like an angry red faced baboon that has just arrived at the banana shop only to find that it has closed for the weekend.

Why do you do this?

You somehow recognise some underlying rules to this world. It's the toast that lands butter side down, it's the checkout queue that stops moving as soon as you join, it's the automated phone system, it's all of the above that seemingly make a conscious effort to frustrate and annoy you. It doesn't matter that there is no one around to hear you object but it does help. Just by stating aloud that the events are unfair you hope to address and influence them and force the game to change back to its default random fair state.

Why am I writing this?

I had contacted all the Welsh universities to ask if they were interested in my proposition. Some said no. Some showed some interest and wished me luck but there were no cash pledges. I expected some to say no but I was also counting on at least one showing some interest but I didn't get any return phone calls. I felt as welcome as an unexpectedly eager fart during a funeral eulogy. Maybe a Welsh guy from a nowhere town couldn't succeed. Maybe the more I tried then the more obstacles I would come up against. Maybe the rule below that I had long suspected existed really did exist.

You can only live your life within a predefined corridor of possibilities.

Any attempt to deviate from that corridor will result in a correcting force.

There was only one course of action available. I crossed my fingers and made a blood sacrifice to my lucky gonk, stroked a black toad and licked a cat while throwing a pinch of salt over my shoulder. I also wrote down the above rule and made sure that someone read it and by reading it hopefully they would nullify it. That person was you. Thank you.

I also changed my plan just in case. After all I am not really superstitious and don't believe in any of that astronomy stuff. I'm a Taurus. I increased the amount of money I was pledging from 10% to 20% of the ticket price (£13,000) and I wasn't going to ask universities for any money but would instead look to get four commercial sponsors to match my 20%. I never had the initial pledge money so doubling my pledge kind of made sense to me. If no sponsors came forward then I would save double the money that I didn't have. If everything worked out then I would end up in space and uncle Visa card would have to take care of my pledge.

This was a classic gunfighter type standoff. I would be up front and let everyone know that there were only four sponsor slots available and then wait for the first potential sponsor to make a move. Once at least one sponsor had backed me then further press coverage was likely to follow and that in turn would help me attract further sponsors. Once one sponsor had pledged support then the whole process would become unstoppable and I already had an ideal apt sponsor in mind.

Understand the game and change it from within.

How could anything go wrong?

(10) The Proposal (v2.0)

I am looking for only 4 sponsors to take part in this marketing/PR opportunity. I need £100,000 to become the first person born in Wales, raised in Wales and living in Wales to go into space. If I raise the ticket price then SXC (Space Expedition Corporation) have pledged to donate talks to Welsh universities.

I have pledged £25,000 (25% of the ticket price)
I am looking for another 3 sponsors (£25,000 each) or
1 sponsor (£75,000)

Sponsors will:-
Benefit from the publicity involved with SXC donating talks to Welsh universities.
SXC have stated that they are keen to be involved in any publicity.

Benefit from publicity in me becoming the first Welsh person in space.
There has been some press coverage already.

Evening Post:-
http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/Swansea-man-fear-heights-asks-help-raising-65/story-20271706-detail/story.html

BBC Radio Wales:-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u36PjzvyV5Q

The Taffanaut Facebook page will have more than 4000 likes by the end of January with an average 450+ new likes every month. These are mostly in the UK (Wales) but there is interest from other countries (EG USA, Europe). A broad cross section of people are liking the page including a large set from further and higher education. I have already made contact with some press around the world. As soon as I get at least 1 sponsor pledge then press agencies are likely to cover the story further.

Any future income directly derived from being the first Welsh person in space will be split accordingly between sponsors.

I am happy to take part in any publicity (within reason. I don't do topless). I am happy to answer any questions and can be contacted via Facebook
or Email me (See http://taffanaut.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/the-taffanaut-chronicles-contents.html)


FAQs:-
Why invest in me?
I was born, raised and went to university in Wales and want to try and give something back to the area which I grew up in. I am passionate about this cause and will do whatever I can to help it succeed.

Has anyone Welsh ever been into space?
There has been more than one astronaut of Welsh descent (E.g. Joe Tanner having one Welsh parent) but no one born and raised in Wales with UK citizenship has ever been into space.

When will the trip to space take place?
XCOR's competitor, Virgin Galactic look likely to start commercial flights in 2014. XCOR flights are likely to take place shortly after.

Why SXC and XCOR?
The two major companies currently competing in the space tourism market are XCOR and Virgin Galactic. XCOR appears to be more focused on "making space accessible" and has a current ticket price less than half that of Virgin Galactic. Although Virgin Galactic is likely to make commercial trips into space before XCOR I believe that the high ticket price for Virgin Galactic will deter everyone apart from the rich and famous. I could not justify asking for £250,000 and have therefore opted to back XCOR via SXC.

What does the trip involve?
The XCOR Lynx is a revolutionary reusable space plane that takes off from a runway and reaches a speed of up to Mach 3 in approx. 4 minutes. The craft will reach 100 km (61 miles) which is the international recognised start of space, before re-entering the atmosphere and gliding back to Earth.

When is payment required?
As a first step I simply ask for a commitment to pay.

To who is payment made?
The company selling tickets and requiring payment is SXC.

What happens if for some reason the flight does not go ahead?
Both Virgin Galactic and XCOR are committed to developing and flying their space planes and numerous bookings have already been made. I will need to pass two medicals to be declare space worthy. If I fail the first medical then all money will be returned. If I fail the second medical then a small amount will be retained by XCOR (approx. £1500 in total).

Can this plan change?
Yes. I have never attempted anything like this before so there is a chance that I have made naïve mistakes. I am happy to change any aspect of this plan if it helps achieve success without compromising the original aims.


Further info:-

SXC video:-
http://vimeo.com/70553551

SXC web page:-
http://www.spacexc.com/en/home/

XCOR web page:-
http://www.xcor.com/

(9) Press Release

I'd contacted every Welsh university, some welsh businesses and some non UK press agencies. There was interest but no serious commitment. With the number of likes on the Facebook page climbing towards the 4000 mark I felt that I didn't have a choice but to take the next step. It was time to contact the UK press.

There is a long story about a failed viral campaign involving a picture of a laughing Warren Gatland in a Santa suit, sports reporters, copious amounts of alcohol and a lack of internet connection in Cardiff after Wales lost to Australia in rugby. I tried to think of a quick way to tell this story but it is just too ridiculous to sum up in a few lines. One good thing did come out of this disaster and that was that there was now some press interest in what I was trying to do.

I also contacted a journalist (many thanks to RT) who wrote and distributed the following press release which has resulted in one radio interview so far. There may be more coverage to follow.

Welshman hoping for space mission

A Swansea man is aiming to be the first Welsh-born person in space.

Richard Cross, a 46-year-old computer programmer from Swansea, is hoping to raise the £65,000 he needs to launch him into the history books.

Hoping for the financial backing of a number of Welsh universities Richard is planning to take his trip into space sometime next year.

Even though the Welsh  rocket man, or Taffanaut as he calls himself, has lofty ambitions he does admit a drawback in his ambition – he’s scared of heights!

“I must admit I am scared of heights and the thought of going into space actually terrifies me,” he said.

“I don’t even like flying on a plane. It makes it all the more crazy I suppose that I’m prepared to do it.

“In a bid to overcome my fear I have done a parachute jump from 13,000ft but I’m not sure it’s cured the fear.”

But there is a serious side to Richard’s mission which will see him take a ride on the XCOR Lynx space plane,  via his hoped for ticket from SXC Space Agents.

“The motivation is to leave some kind of legacy and inspire youngsters. Space travel is becoming commercial and I want to show that it is accessible,” said Richard.

“Bob Geldof is attempting to be the first Irishman in space but I want to show that I’m just an ordinary Welsh bloke. If I can do it anyone can.

“If I don’t make it, it will be a missed opportunity for the ordinary Welshman. 

“Some people might think I’m just a nutter but this is a serious plan and certainly no scam.”

(2) The First Step - Death of the Dream

I was a little over 2 years old when my mother sat me on a dining room chair in front of the TV and said. 

“Watch this and remember it because it is really important. In years to come people will still be talking about this.”

I remember the black wooden chair with the green plastic paisley seat cushion and back. I remember looking at the grainy picture on the TV. The TV was a 1960’s black and white valve driven beast. Actually it wasn’t even black and white, more black and purple. When it was switched on it would take a few minutes for the valves to warm up before any sound would come out and then the picture would eventually flicker into life.

I was just over 2 years old in the Summer of 1969 so I didn’t really grasp the importance of what I was seeing at the time but I remember sitting there and watching man’s first step on the Moon.

The last lunar landing was in December of 1972 but the excitement lingered on for a few more years. I remember numerous space related TV shows from my early years such as Dr Who, Stingray, Thunderbirds and Star Trek. We grew up with Captain Kirk as our role model and we believed that by the time we grew up space travel would be the norm but the brave new world never arrived.

Growing up meant a gradual awareness of who I was, where I was in the world and what was actually possible. I grew up in a small town in Wales. I won't mention the name because If you live outside Wales then you probably won't have never heard of it anyway. It is a one horse town, with no horse. I was a nobody in a nowhere town growing up in a post-industrial world that had seen better days. There was never any chance of me suddenly being talent spotted by NASA and becoming an astronaut. Everyone I knew grew up, accepted their fate and forgot about any childhood dreams and ambitions they had. They went to school, went to university or got a job and settled down, got a house, got a wife, got the flat screen TV and matching luggage set. They had kids and they started to grow old, accept their fate and they forget the dreams they once had.

The dream died.

The Taffanaut Chronicles - Contents

(1) Statement of Intent

(2) The First Step - Death of the Dream

(3) The World Moved On

(4) Change - Taffanaut Found

(5) 13.7.13 - Taffanaut Lost

(6) The Illusion of Free Will - Taffanaut Regained

(7) The Proposal

(8) Business Case

(9) Press Release

(10) The Proposal (v2.0)

(11) The Game 

(12) The Full Taffanaut

(13) Cape Cymru

(14) Pope

(15) The Game Part 2 (Encapsulation)

(16) The Plan With No Name (in progress)

(17) Santa (Sponsor Request)

If you would like further information then please feel free to contact me:-

You can email me direct : Taffanaut email

You can message me via the Facebook page : Taffanaut page