From an early age we try and make sense of the world that
we are born into but we learn far more than we are actually aware of. Sometimes
you can almost catch an indirect glimpse of the truth. It's that sudden feeling
that something just isn't quite right like the feeling you get when you know
that the phone is about to ring before it happens, that feeling that you knew
what someone was going to say as they were saying it. Your thought process
seems to sharpen as you struggle to grasp on to this valuable revelation before
it fades and you return to the real world but for a fraction of a second you
felt you were on the verge of understanding. This world isn't quite what it
seems. There are rules in this world that we are not fully aware of. Am I as
mad as a box of frogs (playing banjos) for writing this? Are you mad for
reading it? Read the following scenario and decide.
You are in your car and you have to get to your
destination which isn't far away. You don't have much time to spare but you've
estimated how long it should take you to get there and you should have enough
time. The first traffic light you encounter turns red and holds you up for a
minute or two. The next traffic light turns red as you are approaching it and
it seems to take an age to turn back to green especially as there doesn't seem
to be enough traffic to warrant it staying red for that amount of time. You
should recognise and have personal experience of this type of story whether you
drive or not. It isn't just the lights that are causing problems. Other drivers
are taking too long to decide what to do or are making bad decisions which
delays you further. You re-estimate how long it will take you to get to your
destination. It will be tight but you should still be able to make it. After
all the law of averages mean that some of the lights should be green but on
this particular day that doesn't happen and you end up being late.
You may recognise this situation as one that you have
experienced and may also recognise that I omitted one aspect of the story.
After a few hold ups whether they are caused by other drivers or inanimate
traffic lights, you start to object vocally. Some people are really quite good
at this. You object to the unfairness of it all but the lights aren't
listening. The other drivers can't hear you. There may not even by anyone in
the car with you and even if there was surely they couldn't help you. To the
casual passer-by you look like an angry red faced baboon that has just arrived
at the banana shop only to find that it has closed for the weekend.
Why do you do this?
You somehow recognise some underlying rules to this
world. It's the toast that lands butter side down, it's the checkout queue that
stops moving as soon as you join, it's the automated phone system, it's all of
the above that seemingly make a conscious effort to frustrate and annoy you. It
doesn't matter that there is no one around to hear you object but it does help.
Just by stating aloud that the events are unfair you hope to address and
influence them and force the game to change back to its default random fair
state.
Why am I writing this?
I had contacted all the Welsh universities to ask if they
were interested in my proposition. Some said no. Some showed some interest and
wished me luck but there were no cash pledges. I expected some to say no but I
was also counting on at least one showing some interest but I didn't get any
return phone calls. I felt as welcome as an unexpectedly eager fart during a
funeral eulogy. Maybe a Welsh guy from a nowhere town couldn't succeed. Maybe
the more I tried then the more obstacles I would come up against. Maybe the
rule below that I had long suspected existed really did exist.
You can only live your life
within a predefined corridor of possibilities.
Any attempt to deviate from
that corridor will result in a correcting force.
There was only one course of action available. I crossed
my fingers and made a blood sacrifice to my lucky gonk, stroked a black toad
and licked a cat while throwing a pinch of salt over my shoulder. I also wrote
down the above rule and made sure that someone read it and by reading it
hopefully they would nullify it. That person was you. Thank you.
I also changed my plan just in case. After all I am not
really superstitious and don't believe in any of that astronomy stuff. I'm a
Taurus. I increased the amount of money I was pledging from 10% to 20% of the
ticket price (£13,000) and I wasn't going to ask universities for any money but
would instead look to get four commercial sponsors to match my 20%. I never had
the initial pledge money so doubling my pledge kind of made sense to me. If no
sponsors came forward then I would save double the money that I didn't have. If
everything worked out then I would end up in space and uncle Visa card would
have to take care of my pledge.
This was a classic gunfighter type standoff. I would be
up front and let everyone know that there were only four sponsor slots
available and then wait for the first potential sponsor to make a move. Once at
least one sponsor had backed me then further press coverage was likely to
follow and that in turn would help me attract further sponsors. Once one
sponsor had pledged support then the whole process would become unstoppable and
I already had an ideal apt sponsor in mind.
Understand the game and change it from within.
How could anything go wrong?
