(17) Santa (Sponsor Request)

Dear Santa

Can you help me? I would really like to go into space but not as high or for as long as Tim Peake.

This is how a child would start a Christmas list looking through rose tinted spectacles with their dreams and ambitions still intact, untainted and uncontaminated by the world. I'm not the man they think I am at home. I am a child trapped in an adult's body and I still dream. I'm not the only one.

Although I doubt your existence I believe in belief as a force for good and unfortunately for bad. I want to be good and I want to help others in my own unique way. Please please help me become the first Welsh born UK resident person in space regardless of all my reservations and concerns.

I am scared of heights. I don't like enclosed spaces and I don't enjoy being the centre of attention but I am willing to overcome my fears and even risk my life to do something that I believe in. I pledge to pay £25,000 towards the £100,000 XCOR Space Expeditions ticket price to fly to space and I am looking for commercial sponsors only to bridge the remaining cost. If you are interested in sponsoring me then email here or message me in my Facebook page. I would be eternally grateful. You would pretty much own me.

Why not just spend the £25,000 on good causes?
This is a significant amount of money for most ordinary people including myself. I have never asked for and don't want public donations because these are the very people I am trying to help. I am not rich or famous and I don't have £25,000 but I am willing to borrow that amount because I believe it would be money well spent when you consider the potential payback. The worldwide space industry is predicted to be worth £400 billion by 2030. The UK has ambitions to capture 10% of the market. Just over 20,000 are employed in Wales in aerospace and defence related industries. Universities with research and development linked to hi tech companies are replacing the old heavy industry engines of the first industrial revolution. Wales could even be the location for the UK's first spaceport and once again be the cradle for the next industrial revolution, the space revolution.

I support a spaceport in North Wales not just because it is light years ahead of the rival locations but because the people of Wales deserve it. This isn't just about just bringing tangible benefits like jobs and money into communities. This is about bringing hope. To help inspire the younger generation XCOR Space Expeditions proposed donating a number of talks to Welsh universities if I managed to raise the required ticket price. Dreams and ambitions need to be achievable and there needs to be a purpose. The future needs to better than the past and present and I want to help inspire Wales to be a part of then next tentative steps in space to benefit everyone. Regardless of whether I succeed or not I have asked to be included in a humanitarian mission to Africa in 2016. We are only here for a short time and it would be criminal to not make a difference.

I choose to go to space not because it is easy but because it is hard. It is the most ridiculous, idiotic, impossible thing that I have ever attempted. I am the most unlikely astronaut ever. Unsure and scared, not worthy, out of place, an alien alone in a crowd. The thought of actually succeeding terrifies me.
I am you in someone else but if by some miracle I could make it into space then what could you achieve?

My advice to everyone, old or young regardless of gender, race, religion, sexuality or other demographics is as follows. Don't let go of your dreams. Don't take no for an answer. Don't lose hope. Take small steps towards your dream because even if you don't reach your destination at least you are moving in the right direction.

You have no idea how bright you shine.
Incinerating the void and setting fire to the dark.
Burning brilliantly flawed.


Taffanaut      age 48 ½ yrs

(15) The Game Part 2 (Encapsulation)

My heart was pounding and each lungful of air stabbed at my lungs. I was running as fast as I could through cold dark deserted streets dimly lit by the occasional orange glow from a streetlamp. Looking for somewhere to hide. Looking for a weapon. Looking for anything that would help me because I knew that somewhere behind me my ancient bonded adversary was gaining on me. We both sensed that escape was impossible and a showdown was inevitable. We both knew that I couldn’t win. Why was this happening? It didn't make sense. I thought we had some kind of an understanding.
It all seemed so real.

There is a place with no beginning. It never ends. You can see it, hear it, touch it, taste it, smell it but more than that you can feel it and I was feeling this. Panic was starting to build because based on past encounters I already knew this was going to be unpleasant.

The average person sleeps for about one third of their life and allegedly most people have a handful of dreams each night. I have tried to research my dreams and their content but failed to find an exact match for one type. Most dreams seem to be "first person shooter" where you exist as one person doing normal dream like things.

I sometimes have "multi point of view" dreams where I can be more than one entity or can experience the thoughts of more than one "player" individually or in parallel. These dreams can get a little complicated and weird but they rely on some simple rules in order for them to exist. Each person in the dream has their own free will and while you can experience their thoughts and make suggestions for actions to carry out you cannot convey any information to them which they would not normally have access to. A simple example would be a dream containing two people each side of a wall. On one side of the wall is a person who plans to harm the next person they see. On the other side of the wall is a person who plans to see what is on the other side of the wall. I can jump into both of them individually or at the same time and be the nagging voice in their head to suggest a different course of action. I am not able to break the rules of the dream and they inevitably both travel within their predefined corridor of possibilities and I am powerless to stop them meeting.

I turned a corner to be confronted by a derelict house with boarded up windows and doors. One of the boards on the door was missing and another looked loose. I glanced over my shoulder as I pushed the board to one side and squeezed through. There was no sign of it in the street but I knew it was getting closer. There was no point in hiding because it would know where to find me. It knew exactly what I was thinking. It knew because for some reason in this dream I had split into two with each of me able to experience the others thoughts and the other me had been occupied by it.

This wasn't the first time that we had crossed paths but this time I could see into it's mind and what I saw terrified me. Ancient and pure this dybbuk like non-human had one aim and that was to find and kill me in my dream. Something told me that this was no ordinary dream and I was convinced that death here meant death in the waking world. I would appear to be agitated, having a bad dream and then I would simply die and become just another unfortunate statistic.

It is difficult to describe in words intended to describe this world because it isn't part of this world. It doesn't belong here. Darker than the total blackness. Even in a cave a mile underground you would still see it because the very nothingness in front of you would be obscured by it's pureness. You would still see an intimidating tower of darkness with two red glowing eyes. It rarely takes form being of no fixed shape but when it does, the shape it assumes comes from your subconscious. Walls and doors are no obstacle. Time and distance are irrelevant. You can't kill it because it has never lived. These are all constructs of this world. A world in which it does not physically exist and you can never defeat something that doesn't exist.

Sometimes the thin veil of reality weakens and you feel that you may catch a fleeting glimpse of the truth. It is that uneasy awareness of not being alone, of being watched, of being prey. Common sense tells you that there is nothing in the dark but millions of years of evolution have hard wired your brain and fine-tuned your senses to know better, to know something unnatural is lurking there. You only know its true. It wants you to be afraid because fear is nourishment. Your defence is a subconscious response. You talk aloud in the hope of distracting yourself and to hide how scared your really are even though logic tells you that there is nothing there. I made the mistake once of challenging the fear by willing the presence to show itself in the waking world. That's a mistake not to be made twice.

I ran up the stairs in the house to the first floor landing. There was some building work being carried out inside the house and there were various boxes and tools on the landing. As I looked around looking for a weapon I heard the board on the door downstairs being pushed to one side and then slapping back into position. It was inside the house.

I grabbed whatever I could and threw it down the stairs. This was just a desperate stalling move trying to prolong my life. I could sense it reading my every thought. It knew to avoid the falling debris before I had even thrown it. It knew I had looked at one of the doors on the landing and that I had considered going in to try and hide but had then dismissed the thought because I had sensed that it had sensed it in me. A thought race war was in progress with me trying faster and faster to come up with a plan to escape. I tried everything including trying to project false thoughts to confuse it, closing my eyes so it couldn't see through my eyes to see where I was. Nothing worked. I could feel it growing stronger as it got closer and fed off my fear.

I was on the top landing when I heard it climbing the second set of stairs. The stairs were the only escape route and I was now trapped. I looked down to see the other me slowly climbing the stairs. It was me but the face was emotionless and the eyes just stared blankly. As I looked down I saw some tools on the floor including an electric drill which was still plugged in. We both knew instantly. I bent down and grabbed the drill but as I stood up the other me also grabbed the drill and pushed me back against the stair rail.

I was overcome with disbelief that I still couldn't wake up as the drill whined into life and was pushed closer and closer to the side of my head. All the strength I had left wasn't enough to stop this now. My brain was racing frantically trying to come up with another delaying tactic but there was no way out. The drill bit was about two inches away from the side of my head and there was no way to stop it. I was going to die.

So I did the only thing possible. I relaxed my grip and jumped into the other me and pushed the drill into the skull of the me I had just left. The dream ended and I woke up in a twisted mess of bedclothes and was thankful to have escaped once again. This encounter was a number of years ago and as far as I can remember I haven't been tested since. The understanding resumed but the bond still exists and we both sense that this won't be the last time we cross paths.


Taffanaut Log Supplemental (Star Date 270720.203)
You could choose to intemperate this epic recurring lucid multi player dream in a number of ways. Until you do so and force an opinion to take form then all options are possible. I choose to brush over the borderline insanity and concentrate on the following positive aspects. 

My dream, my rules. 
In a dream that doesn't physically exist governed by rules that don't physically exist either you can defeat an opponent that doesn't physically exist by understanding the rules of the dream and turning them around to your advantage.   

You can only live your life within a predefined corridor of possibilities.

You can break the game by understanding the encapsulated rules and by using them against the game to your advantage.


That's the theory anyway.

A theory is an idea.
Ideas, thoughts and beliefs don't physically exist.

(14) Pope

Your Holiness,

I am not particularly religious but I believe in belief which is why a blessing on my attempt to become the first Welsh born person in space would mean so much to me.

The worldwide aerospace industry is estimated to be worth £400 Billion by 2030 and the UK has set its sights on capturing 10% of that market. The figures are impressive but not my motivation.
We stand at a pivotal point in history at the dawn of commercialized space flight with two main companies jostling for position -

1. Virgin Galactic
2. XCOR Space Expeditions

I am not rich or famous. I wasn't born into money and like most ordinary people the $100,000 ticket price to get into space is beyond me. 

I am scared of heights.

I don't like enclosed spaces.

I value my anonymity,

 but I am prepared to overcome my fears and risk my life to do something impossible that I believe in.

We have a moral obligation to all life everywhere to take the next steps in space exploration and colonization.

I feel obliged to help give hope to others that the future will be better than the past. That no problems are insurmountable.

I want to help make space accessible

Space isn't just for the elite. Space is for everyone. I want to help claim space for ordinary people.

I want to inspire others

I know that getting to space is the most ridiculous, idiotic, impossible thing I have ever attempted. I am not expected to or supposed to succeed and some people would probably be happier if I failed. If I can make it into space then what impossible ambition can others achieve?

I want to help others

XCOR Space Expeditions pledged to donate talks to Welsh universities if I could raise the $100,000 required for the ticket to space. I want to help Welsh universities and to help inspire students and the younger generation to pursue their dreams as well as raising awareness of the coming changes and opportunities for Wales (in my own unique way). I actively support the siting of the UK's first spaceport in Llanbedr (North Wales). 

As I said I am not particularly religious but I believe in belief and a therefore a blessing would mean a great deal to me. 

If you could also bless the Welsh rugby team in the Rugby World Cup that would also be appreciated. They could do with some help.

Regards

Taffanaut     (aged 48½)

(13) Cape Cymru ( #UKSpaceport )

Don't read any further if you think £400 billion is a trivial amount. That is how much the worldwide space industry is predicted to be worth by 2030 if it carries on growing by about 7% a year as it has been doing even during the recent recession. The UK has set its sights on capturing 10% of this market and is planning to build a spaceport at one of eight possible shortlisted locations. In the short term the spaceport would need to be able to accommodate suborbital space tourism flights that are likely to start within the next two years.

The sites shortlisted include one in England, one in Wales and six in Scotland. Ideally the location would need minimal investment, have favourable weather, be away from populated areas and crowded airspace but also be reasonably easily accessible. At first glance there doesn't seem to be an ideal Goldilocks location in the UK. So why not Wales?

A cynic might say that the promise of a spaceport for Scotland is an incentive for Scotland to remain part of the UK and that the site in North Wales (Llandebr) is just a token inclusion. Few people would expect Wales to be chosen and no one would be surprised if a site in Scotland or England was eventually chosen. Billions of pounds can be spent on infrastructure projects outside Wales such as HS2 or Crossrail but Wales has been conditioned to expect to fail. Some Space Luddites might even dismiss the coming inevitable space revolution as unimportant and irrelevant but this is far from the truth.

About 30,000 people are currently employed in the space sector in the UK but this is just part of a much larger aerospace industry which is the second largest civil aerospace industry in the world. Just over 20,000 are employed in Wales in aerospace and defence related industries. Universities with research and development linked to hi tech companies are replacing the old heavy industry engines of the first industrial revolution and Llandebr is ideally situated and ready to serve as a catalyst.

You can analyse the population density, weather, length of runway, ease of access and many other factors but Llandebr has more to offer. The clue is in the name, Space Tourism. Imagine you are driving towards North Wales. The roads steadily narrow eventually winding their way through the Snowdonia National Park until you reach a place where the sky meets the sea. The place where you will leave Earth, Llandebr spaceport (Cape Cymru). You can watch the sunset over the sea while you contemplate the enormity of the next step in your journey but not before you and your companions make the most of all the other attractions North Wales has to offer. Wales has been voted top country in the world to visit in 2014 by readers of one of the planet’s leading guide books. There are mountains, castles, gold mines, caves, mock Italian villages, unspoilt beaches and wide open spaces that have to be seen to be fully appreciated. The Welsh flag even has dragon on it. Surely that on its own should be reason enough to build a spaceport in Wales.

You have to ask yourself, do you want to live in a country that reminisces about the fading glory years of the industrial revolution or do you want to live in a country that looks to and helps build the future and takes part in the next revolution?

The space revolution.   

Taffanaut Log Supplemental (Stardate 68942.2)
In March 2015 the UK government reduced the shortlist of eight aerodromes that could host a UK spaceport to six. Two Scottish sites were ruled out due to "operational defence reasons". Another Scottish site was included in the list but only as a possible temporary location. This left five potential locations with one additional possible temporary location.

Stornoway airport was ruled out by the owners who also owned Campbeltown.

Without going into too much detail this effectively left -

   Campbeltown

   Glasgow Prestwick

   Llanbedr  

   Newquay

Remaining sites have been invited to submit their cases for becoming the first UK spaceport. A decision is due to be made sometime in late 2016.

I am slightly biased but I still believe that Llanbedr has ticked most of the boxes for the real decision makers.

"All spaceport selection criteria are equal but some are more equal than others."

References

The Engineer - Aerospace - 22.08.14

The Daily Post - Spaceport - 14.07.14

Aerospace Wales - Spaceport - 16.07.14

Wales Online - Rough Guides 2014 - 28.01.14

BBC News - HS2 - 17.03.14

BBC News - Crossrail - 24.01.14

Welsh runways

Cape Cymru

Wikipedia - UK Aerospace

Wales.com - Advanced Materials and Manufacturing 

Consultation on criteria to determine the location of a UK spaceport

UK Government Summary and conclusions of commercial spaceplane certification and operations
UK Government technical review of commercial spaceplane certification and operations
Stornoway Gazette - 04.03.15

(12) The Full Taffanaut

It is not really relevant which company I work for. I am a programmer and I sit all day in an office re-arranging 1's and 0's trying to hack together solutions to problems while awake, asleep or somewhere in-between. In some ways it is like most other jobs. Someone takes credit for the work I do unless I make a mistake which sometimes happens if my mind drifts off to escape my self-inflicted suicide beige painted cell. At least it pays the bills, almost. 

Once born into this world dressed in hope, dreams and ambition, now with more past than future I am bored of the futility of existence. There is a window on the other side of the office and through that window there are some trees with birds in. They hop from branch to branch and tweet to each other. Stupid birds. They cannot appreciate the higher levels of excitement and delight in this world like shiny mobile phones, flat screen TVs or matching luggage sets. There is so much beauty and wonder to see but we blind ourselves with trivial things. I hate it all but there must be more to hate than this.

Everyone in the office was invited to attend a meeting. The birds were not invited. I already knew that bad news was coming but I wasn't prepared for how bad. There were going to be redundancies and more people would be going than would be staying. Was this part of the game? was this the equal and opposing force that I had been expecting that would deny me from being able to pledge 20% of the ticket price? Was I the indirect cause of this mass cull? Why had the birds got off scot free? Then somewhere inside my mind a connection was made. I have what I can only describe as some kind of augmented Tourette's syndrome which has a nasty habit of presenting me with inappropriate thoughts. A song started to play in my head.

Sittin' here eatin' my heart out waitin'
Waitin' for some lover to call
Dialed about a thousand numbers lately
Almost rang the phone off the wall

Lookin' for some hot stuff baby this evenin'
I need some hot stuff baby tonight
I want some hot stuff baby this evenin'

The Full Monty signing on scene had popped into my head. I looked around the room and imagined a room full of programmers gyrating and thrusting their hips in time to the music. Not a pretty sight.

Gotta have some hot stuff
Gotta have some love tonight
I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff

I bit my lip and looked down just as an imaginary red leather thong slid across the boardroom table in front of me, still warm, exhaling as it slumped into a post nuptial exhausted heap.

Was possible redundancy good news or bad news?
I had contacted my favoured commercial sponsor who initially seemed interested and implied that they were considering my proposal but I hadn't heard anything since and realization was slowly setting in that they weren't going to get back in touch. It was too easy to ignore me. I was already considering "going large" in order to get press coverage. Surely the press would love a Full Monty type story about some mad Welsh guy being made redundant and pledging all his redundancy money on a ticket to space. Sponsors would be unable to ignore me. The idea went round and round in my head for days together with the song but in the end I decided that I couldn't go through with it. It would not have been right for me to exploit the situation when people were losing their jobs.

There was a month of redundancy consultations and everyone had a pretty good idea about who would be staying or going by the time they were called into their individual meetings. I bit my lip in my meeting as I was told that I was staying and tried not to think of a piston fisted gibbon, chocolate fudge dragon or salad cream.

It was a relief when the redundancies were over because I had not really been able to focus on anything let alone Taffanaut. I needed to clear my head and get The Taffanaut Chronicles up to date before starting on the final push so one evening I took advantage of the empty house and sat down, booted up my laptop/tray and started getting outside a reheated a left over curry as quick as I could. My aggressive psychotic immune system had other ideas. By the time I suspected that I might be starting to suffer from anaphylactic shock it was too late. Less than a minute later I was face down over the arm of the sofa sweating, shaking, gasping for breath with my heart slowing. I struggled to remain conscious and with my sight failing I watched my hands turn red and start to blister. Getting to the phone or trying to get help was pointless and impossible. I didn't have the ability and I certainly didn't have the time. My brain was quickly calculating and narrowing down all my options and possible outcomes and I was now just a passenger waiting to choose one of the options. There was no emotion, no flashback of life, no tunnel with a light at the end. Somewhere inside there was a disturbingly cold calculating inhuman machine that had no real concern for me but just wanted to survive at all costs. The analysis was completed and there were two options:-

Option 1 : Do not black out, ride it out and then get help.

Option 2 : Probably die

I clenched my muscles fighter pilot style to try and keep conscious. Just before Easter 2014 as the moon turned red during the first of the four Blood Moon lunar eclipses a war raged inside me. Each heartbeat rhythmically exploded into my head with an eye popping psychedelic thud thud thud beat.

Seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactic upsets

Taff a-ah

Saviour of the Universe

Taff a-ah

He'll save every one of us
Taff a-ah
He's a miracle

Do not dispatch war rocket Ajax to bring back his body lovely boy. 

Taffanauts alive! 

Eventually I had enough energy to get to call for help and Nicci drove me to the local A&E department where the staff made sure a bad day didn't get any worse. I was glad that the futility of existence for the one outweighed the nonexistence of the many.

It was too close for comfort and a bit of a wakeup call. I needed to start on the final push before some other correcting force stopped me from deviating from my predefined corridor of possibilities. The birds were still in the tree outside work hopping from branch to branch. Stupid birds. They would never be able to comprehend the full genius/insanity of the plan that had been fermenting in my head. All the options had been analysed and each possible outcome had been simulated. The analysis was complete and there was only one option which could succeed.
It was time.

(10) The Proposal (v2.0)

I am looking for only 4 sponsors to take part in this marketing/PR opportunity. I need £100,000 to become the first person born in Wales, raised in Wales and living in Wales to go into space. If I raise the ticket price then SXC (Space Expedition Corporation) have pledged to donate talks to Welsh universities.

I have pledged £25,000 (25% of the ticket price)
I am looking for another 3 sponsors (£25,000 each) or
1 sponsor (£75,000)

Sponsors will:-
Benefit from the publicity involved with SXC donating talks to Welsh universities.
SXC have stated that they are keen to be involved in any publicity.

Benefit from publicity in me becoming the first Welsh person in space.
There has been some press coverage already.

Evening Post:-
http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/Swansea-man-fear-heights-asks-help-raising-65/story-20271706-detail/story.html

BBC Radio Wales:-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u36PjzvyV5Q

The Taffanaut Facebook page will have more than 4000 likes by the end of January with an average 450+ new likes every month. These are mostly in the UK (Wales) but there is interest from other countries (EG USA, Europe). A broad cross section of people are liking the page including a large set from further and higher education. I have already made contact with some press around the world. As soon as I get at least 1 sponsor pledge then press agencies are likely to cover the story further.

Any future income directly derived from being the first Welsh person in space will be split accordingly between sponsors.

I am happy to take part in any publicity (within reason. I don't do topless). I am happy to answer any questions and can be contacted via Facebook
or Email me (See http://taffanaut.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/the-taffanaut-chronicles-contents.html)


FAQs:-
Why invest in me?
I was born, raised and went to university in Wales and want to try and give something back to the area which I grew up in. I am passionate about this cause and will do whatever I can to help it succeed.

Has anyone Welsh ever been into space?
There has been more than one astronaut of Welsh descent (E.g. Joe Tanner having one Welsh parent) but no one born and raised in Wales with UK citizenship has ever been into space.

When will the trip to space take place?
XCOR's competitor, Virgin Galactic look likely to start commercial flights in 2014. XCOR flights are likely to take place shortly after.

Why SXC and XCOR?
The two major companies currently competing in the space tourism market are XCOR and Virgin Galactic. XCOR appears to be more focused on "making space accessible" and has a current ticket price less than half that of Virgin Galactic. Although Virgin Galactic is likely to make commercial trips into space before XCOR I believe that the high ticket price for Virgin Galactic will deter everyone apart from the rich and famous. I could not justify asking for £250,000 and have therefore opted to back XCOR via SXC.

What does the trip involve?
The XCOR Lynx is a revolutionary reusable space plane that takes off from a runway and reaches a speed of up to Mach 3 in approx. 4 minutes. The craft will reach 100 km (61 miles) which is the international recognised start of space, before re-entering the atmosphere and gliding back to Earth.

When is payment required?
As a first step I simply ask for a commitment to pay.

To who is payment made?
The company selling tickets and requiring payment is SXC.

What happens if for some reason the flight does not go ahead?
Both Virgin Galactic and XCOR are committed to developing and flying their space planes and numerous bookings have already been made. I will need to pass two medicals to be declare space worthy. If I fail the first medical then all money will be returned. If I fail the second medical then a small amount will be retained by XCOR (approx. £1500 in total).

Can this plan change?
Yes. I have never attempted anything like this before so there is a chance that I have made naïve mistakes. I am happy to change any aspect of this plan if it helps achieve success without compromising the original aims.


Further info:-

SXC video:-
http://vimeo.com/70553551

SXC web page:-
http://www.spacexc.com/en/home/

XCOR web page:-
http://www.xcor.com/

(9) Press Release

I'd contacted every Welsh university, some welsh businesses and some non UK press agencies. There was interest but no serious commitment. With the number of likes on the Facebook page climbing towards the 4000 mark I felt that I didn't have a choice but to take the next step. It was time to contact the UK press.

There is a long story about a failed viral campaign involving a picture of a laughing Warren Gatland in a Santa suit, sports reporters, copious amounts of alcohol and a lack of internet connection in Cardiff after Wales lost to Australia in rugby. I tried to think of a quick way to tell this story but it is just too ridiculous to sum up in a few lines. One good thing did come out of this disaster and that was that there was now some press interest in what I was trying to do.

I also contacted a journalist (many thanks to RT) who wrote and distributed the following press release which has resulted in one radio interview so far. There may be more coverage to follow.

Welshman hoping for space mission

A Swansea man is aiming to be the first Welsh-born person in space.

Richard Cross, a 46-year-old computer programmer from Swansea, is hoping to raise the £65,000 he needs to launch him into the history books.

Hoping for the financial backing of a number of Welsh universities Richard is planning to take his trip into space sometime next year.

Even though the Welsh  rocket man, or Taffanaut as he calls himself, has lofty ambitions he does admit a drawback in his ambition – he’s scared of heights!

“I must admit I am scared of heights and the thought of going into space actually terrifies me,” he said.

“I don’t even like flying on a plane. It makes it all the more crazy I suppose that I’m prepared to do it.

“In a bid to overcome my fear I have done a parachute jump from 13,000ft but I’m not sure it’s cured the fear.”

But there is a serious side to Richard’s mission which will see him take a ride on the XCOR Lynx space plane,  via his hoped for ticket from SXC Space Agents.

“The motivation is to leave some kind of legacy and inspire youngsters. Space travel is becoming commercial and I want to show that it is accessible,” said Richard.

“Bob Geldof is attempting to be the first Irishman in space but I want to show that I’m just an ordinary Welsh bloke. If I can do it anyone can.

“If I don’t make it, it will be a missed opportunity for the ordinary Welshman. 

“Some people might think I’m just a nutter but this is a serious plan and certainly no scam.”

(8) Business Case - University (v1.0)

*** Note: This proposal has been superceeded by The Proposal (v2.0) ***

Project Name

Taffanaut - (Make Space Accessible)

Purpose

The primary objectives by sponsoring the first Welsh born person in space are:-

• To raise the profile of Welsh universities and businesses in the UK and worldwide.
• To promote collaboration between Welsh companies and companies in the UK and worldwide.
• To promote collaboration between Welsh universities.
• By becoming the first Welsh born person in space help to make space accessible to “ordinary” people.

Background

The UK space industry contributes more than £9 billion a year to our economy. The government wants to increase this to £40 billion within 20 years. Wales already has approximately 20000 employees in the aerospace industry and there are ever increasing opportunities within this industry.  I want to help inspire the younger generation (from all backgrounds) to become interested in this emerging 21^st century industry, attend Welsh universities and help create a better future for Wales. In order to do this I aim to become the First Welsh born person in space and to do this I need to raise £65000. I have chosen not to target individuals for sponsorship but to target Universities in Wales offering aeronautical/engineering programmes and companies within the aerospace industry in Wales.

In return all sponsors will be involved in the project from a publicity perspective and specifically for university sponsors I have secured talks from SXC (see expected benefits).

Expected benefits

Immediate benefits for participating universities include –

Talks donated to universities by SXC (Space Expedition Corporation).

Talks are expected to be delivered by an SXC representative and be focused on XCOR’s Lynx space plane. The publicity is mutually beneficial to the university and to SXC who have indicated that one of the founders of SXC, Ben Droste may deliver the talk.

Ben Droste has flown over 4,000 hours in different types of military aircrafts, with almost 1,000 hours in the F-16. He was part of the Royal Netherlands Air Force from 1962 to 2000, when he retired as Commander in Chief. He has been involved as a Chairman of the Netherlands Agency for Aerospace Programmes, Dean and Professor of the Aerospace Faculty of the Technical University in Delft and ESA Advisory Board Member. Currently, Ben Droste is Chairman of the Fokker – van den Berch van Heemstede Aerospace Foundation and member of the Scientific Advisory Committee of the Netherlands Defense Academy.

It is hoped that the initial publicity and on going association with this venture will raise the profile of the university and any partner organisations. This will in turn assist with future marketing and awareness of the university to potential applicants worldwide. Partner organisations will also benefit from the raised profile allowing relationships to be fostered with other similar organisations.

Other participating non university sponsors are encouraged to invest more than the minimum £6500. Participating universities will share any surplus money and any future income generated by the venture. 

Estimated Costs

The cost for 1 ticket on the XCOR Lynx space plane is approximately £65000. This has been subdivided in to 10 equal sponsor/shares of £6500 to help spread the cost and to allow a number of Welsh universities/organisation to take part without diluting the benefits too much.

£6500 per share (per university or group of universities).

A university may commit to 1 x £6500 share or may choose to collaborate with another university and share the cost and the SXC talk. Another possibility that could be considered is that universities could also raise money from their partner organisations.

I have pledged at least £6500.

Identified Risks

The main risks that I have identified are as follows:-

• Two health checks need to be passed successfully before being given the all clear to fly to space.  Although I am not expecting to fail these checks there are no guarantees. However in the event that I do fail, all money will be refunded.
• The two main competing space tourism companies are XCOR and Virgin Galactic. I have chosen to fly with XCOR and will be guaranteed to be the first Welsh person in the first 100 to fly into space. I cannot guarantee when the first Welsh person will fly with Virgin Galactic but believe that the ticket price ($250000) will deter all but the rich and famous.

Other risks include the inability to raise the required ticket price, failure of XCOR to be able to complete their space plane or other unknown issues. As a first step only a pledge to pay SXC £6500 is required. No money needs to be paid until all 10 shares are taken. I have tried to limit the risk and cost to universities as much as I can.

Timescales/Milestones

Virgin Galactic has already completed one test flight. Virgin Galactic was due to start taking fare paying passengers into space sometime around December 2013 but this scheduled start date has now been postponed until early 2014.

XCOR has yet to complete a test flight but is progressing well and is closing the gap on Virgin Galactic. XCOR has indicated that the mark 1 Lynx space plane will fly in 2014. This will be closely followed by the mark 2 which will be capable of achieving sub orbital flight. The XCOR craft has a number of advantages over the Virgin craft including an extremely quick turnaround time allowing far more passengers to reach space, cheaper and sooner than Virgin passengers.

Although Virgin Galactic will probably be the first to take fare paying passengers on sub orbital flights I believe that XCOR will ultimately be the company that will be more successful in the long term.  

Dependencies

In order to make this venture a success I need to raise the required £65000 ticket price. This amount has been split into 10 equal amounts of £6500 of which I have pledged at least £6500. Up to 3 universities or 3 groups of universities can invest £6500. The remaining 6 shares are expected to be taken by Welsh companies/organisations.

XCOR need to successfully complete and fly the mark 1 and mark 2 space planes.

 

(6) The Illusion of Free Will - Taffanaut Regained

We think we are in control. In 2013, not for the first time in my life I made a decision that started a chain of events when I entered the Lynx Space Academy competition for a chance to win a trip into space. I managed to beat over 87000 other contestants and made it into the last 250 to take part in the live challenge but I didn't make it any further. The live challenge wasn't what I had imagined it would be. It was an elimination process designed to favour younger fitter contestants. This isn't 1969 when chisel jawed heroes from dinosaur empires risked their lives to take Man's first step on the Moon. This was the 21st century, the commercialisation of space, the second step when space travel would ultimately become just another daytrip. Space travel should be inclusive to all. When I knew I had been eliminated from the Lynx Space Academy live challenge I stayed around until the end of the event.

We think we are in control. I wanted to see if they guy who got lost on the assault course would find his way out of the shopping centre. I wanted to see what would happen to the guy in the wheelchair. Secretly I hoped an underdog would to do well. I wanted some of the women or some of the older guys to get through but they didn't. I deserved and needed to fail so that I could feel empathy with all these strangers. Clicking my red shoes to take me back to some kind of normality was no longer an option after that day.

We aren't in control. It is an illusion. We are no more in control than an insect that loses the fight in a petrol rainbowed puddle in a failed attempt to reach another bunch of flowers taped to a lamppost at the side of the road. We are 6 billion people in a goldfish bowl world hurtling through the void, trying to play the part and fit in, scuttling off to get our secret fixes to try and make it through the week, trying to cope with the futility of existence, growing up, growing old and letting go of dreams, trying to give our kids a better chance in life than they had because maybe they might be the ones to achieve their dreams. We burn so bright and fade so fast.

I wasn't in control. Everything I ever did, from watching the first step on the Moon, to becoming a geek, trying to overcome my fear of heights, failing in the competition, to just being born Welsh has led me stumbling towards my destiny. Tonight I am ripping words from my bleeding brain to remotely paint pictures in your head like some kind of long distance Vulcan mind meld, to try and make you see why I had to make a stand.

Take a break, look around you so you can remember where you were when you read this.
I want you to remember these words because in years to come people will still be talking about this.

Once again I stand trembling on a precipice both excited and terrified at what lays ahead, ready to go public with my plan and let it be judged. You will help decide whether I succeed or whether I fail. I am ready to sacrifice my anonymity, reluctantly but of my own free will. This is my gift before I fade and return to dust and join my father.

I do this not because it easy. I do this not only for all those who took part in the Lynx Space Academy and failed but for everyone who has the wrong kind of Monday morning feeling but somewhere inside them their dream still smoulders ready to be ignited. Mine is burning like a beacon in a world where hope is a rare commodity. Take the first step. Do not fade away. Do not go gentle into that good night. 

I want to help raise money for and raise the profile of Welsh universities to help inspire today's youngsters to turn to the dark side and become geeks to help take the next steps into space, to Mars and beyond.

I want to be the first Welsh born person in space because I am a nobody from a nowhere town and if I can make it into space then maybe, just maybe, anyone can achieve their dreams.

I await your judgement.

I accept my fate.

Taffanaut

(5) 13.7.13 - Taffanaut Lost

Taffanaut's log, Stardate 13.7.13.
More than 87000 people had entered the Lynx Space Academy competition in the UK and I had made it through to the last 250 that took part in the live televised event in Westfield shopping centre at Shepherd's Bush in London on 13th July 2013. For some reason which I never understood the number of contestants was now 250 instead of 200. I was in a group of 125 taking part on the Saturday. The remaining 125 would battle it out the day after. I hadn't told my mum that I had entered the competition as she would have been worried about me going to London, let alone going into space. My dad had died a few years earlier but I am sure that as a fellow geek if he was still alive then he would have been pretty excited by it all. The event was taking place almost two months earlier than I thought it would, which was both good and bad news. The bad news was that I had less time to get fit but the good news was that my alcohol embargo could be lifted before the summer was over. It had been dry and warm for weeks and the weather forecast was for temperatures to top 30°c. We were having a dry sunny summer for what seemed like the first time in seven or eight years and I was tired of being pointed at by manic dwarves being herded by their moon faced parents waddling past the gym window while I was trundling along on the treadmill. I believed that I was ready.

I arrived early and was one of the first people to register, enter the arena area and start checking out the challenges and the other contestants. The contestants were not the contestants I was looking for. Quite a few of the male contestants looked to be under twenty five years old, fit and not as geeky as I had imagined they would be. There had been a bit of controversy earlier on in the competition when Lynx had been accused of sexism by targeting the advertising of the competition towards a male audience. Lynx were selling male grooming products so I could understood their logic but I had a feeling that the women who had turned up today had a point to prove. One guy had turned up in a wheelchair and after the initial shock of seeing him I had to admire him for competing. All of these people meant business.

The first challenge was an inflatable assault course which covered about half the arena area. It consisted of three main sections with various obstacles that had to be crawled under, crawled through, jumped or climbed over. The third section was made of walls with holes that looked just about big enough to get through with your arms above your head rounded off by one last wall to climb with a slide to the finish line. As I was one of the first people to arrive I was in the first batch to take on the assault course. Fifteen people went before me and their times ranged from about 45 seconds to 75 seconds. One guy lost his joggers and another guy lost his way hence the 75 second time.

Soon it was my turn. I stood in front of the course with my mouth dry and sticky and waited to be counted down to start. Then I was off. It usually takes about 20 to 30 seconds of exercise before alarm bells sound and my body realises what the hell is going on. This happened about half way round the course and I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest and run off in front of me. I was only half way round and there was no way maintain this pace. Trying to move 15 stone around an assault course is no easy task. I had to slow down or face the prospect of having a clutcher suspended in a superman pose through a hole in an inflatable wall. By the time I climbed the final wall I was running on fumes. I slid and stumbled down the other side and as I crossed the finish line I exclaimed that I was rather tired. My time was a disappointing 56 seconds.

While I was sitting down wheezing like an enthusiastic octopus making love to a set of bagpipes I heard the second hand news that the assault course was the eliminator round and that only the top 24 out of 125 would progress any further. I hadn't heard the announcement before I did the assault course and was slightly worried. In hindsight it might have been better to do the assault course later rather than early on. The arena area was surrounded by balconies with ideal views allowing later contestants to figure out how best to tackle the course. As the day wore on the times gradually got quicker and quicker and it was becoming pretty obvious that I wasn't going to be in the top 24. I wasn't even going to be in the top 50. If I had warmed up and given my utmost and the clock had actually stopped when I collapsed across the finish line then maybe I could have shaved 10 seconds of my time but that still wouldn't have been quick enough. I think the fastest woman was "SpaceKate" with a time of 42 seconds which still wasn't fast enough. The fastest time was just under 30 seconds. I have no idea how that is even humanly possible. The 24 who got through were all male aged between 18 and 25 years old. These 24 were finally narrowed down to just 2 by further challenges throughout the day.

Maybe I was just being a bad sportsman but looking round at the other ex contestants I could see disappointment in their faces. I tried to block out the feelings that I was having and hung around to see who won a place in the next stage. I played the part, tried to fit in and applauded the winners but inside I felt something just wasn't right. This wasn't how it had played out in my head. That Saturday was one of the hottest days of the year when people would have been out enjoying the freak warm weather but at some point during that day nearly every Taffanaut follower (approx. 1500 at the time) had checked to see how I was doing. People told me that I had done well to get so far but I couldn't agree with them because nothing short of success had been acceptable for me. I had not allowed any room in my head for thoughts of failure. Belief in success had been absolute which meant that failure was equally unpleasant. It felt like someone had died.

Over the next few days and nights an ocean of thoughts swarmed and buzzed in side my restless mind and something began to take form like some monster from the Id. Taking part in and not winning had been the final piece in the jigsaw that I had needed and now I had a reason to continue, a plan and everything I needed to make the plan succeed.

The plan meant that I had to carry on promoting the Taffanaut Facebook page while writing a blog of about 6 items plus one proposal item. The Facebook page was going to be used later on. I already knew that very few fat fingered Facebook users would click on a link and read the blog but that didn't matter as they were never the main intended target audience. The main target audience would be targeted when the 5th blog item was finished and the 6th and last blog item was almost ready.

This is the end of the 5th item.

(4) Change - Taffanaut Found

In 1927 Charles Lindbergh became the first person to fly nonstop across the Atlantic in The Spirit of St. Louis and claimed the $25,000 Orteig Prize in doing so. In 2004 the $10 million Ansari X Prize was claimed by Scaled Composites when SpaceShipOne became the first reusable privately owned spaceship when it flew into space twice within two weeks. Virgin Galactic is currently developing SpaceShipTwo to provide sub orbital flights for space tourists. I had been keeping a watch on a number of pioneering companies jostling for position in the emerging commercial space race including a company called XCOR.

In 2013 I saw a poster advertising The Lynx Space Academy competition which would give people worldwide the chance to win flights into space on a reusable spaceship being developed by XCOR. Only a few months earlier the world had been transfixed when Felix Baumgartner skydived from a balloon 39 km (21 miles) high. XCOR's Lynx spaceship was going to go much further than that. The Mark I would reach 62 km and the Mark II would reach over 100 km which as everyone knows is the Karman Line or the official recognised line that has to be crossed to reach space and become an astronaut. To enter the competition you had to be over 18 years old and of sound body and mind. I was over 18 so I entered.

The UK competition was split into three stages. The first stage was a popularity contest and meant that I needed to get enough votes to be in the top 200 contestants in the UK. These top 200 would then progress to stage two which was a televised event in London containing mental challenges, physical challenges and an interview. Only 4 would make it through and join contestants from around the world for astronaut training/tests in Florida and finally on the basis of their performance only 1 UK contestant would be picked to go to into space. I did some quick calculations on how many votes I needed and decided that getting to the second stage was achievable.

I am a programmer so figuring out how to get enough votes to go through to the second stage wasn't an issue but on the off chance that there would be a phone vote during the televised London event I thought I better raise my profile so I set up a Facebook page called Taffanaut (due to my inability to spell and a severe case of fat finger syndrome). My excuses for not getting the spelling right are as follows. The word doesn't exist yet so I blame the spellchecker. It's the Welsh spelling. It sounds better with an 'a' instead of an 'o'. Also if I couldn't spell a word that didn't exist then would anyone really notice.

With stage one pretty much in the bag I focused on stage two and the need to finish in the top 4 out of the 200. I couldn't do anything to improve my chances in the mental challenges but I could work on my fitness and practice my interview technique. I did a lot of training in the gym and even gave up alcohol, completely. This was serious. While I was stumbling along on the treadmill I would imagine the questions that could be asked in the interview and run through my possible responses. In my imagined interview I was brilliant and they loved me. Hopefully ambition and ability would be equally matched. If I could raise my fitness level to be about midway in the fitness challenges and do well in the mental challenges then my interview could catapult me into the top 4. Confidence was building along with Taffanaut's following.

Then it all changed.
A fellow weird geek said to me that they were really impressed that I had entered the competition and that when they were younger they had also wanted to go into space. She was unaware of the effect this conversation would have on me (don't think you knew you were in this song). You know who you R. Someone else asked me if I could do a talk at a school if I made it to space. This wasn't in the post win plan. There was no post win plan. What had I done? I had been so committed and focused on winning that I had lost sight of the bigger picture and of the consequences of what would happen afterwards. Up until now I had been safe hiding behind a fictional online character but at some point I would have to reveal myself. I don't mind being the centre of attention but I don't crave it and after a short time I am more than comfortable slipping back out of sight into the shadows. If I won I might end up as a top Z list celebrity being chauffeured around the country in Limo opening new supermarkets before eventually my fame faded and (after six months) I would end up taking part in a hard core porn film wearing goggles and a massive pair of waders or worse still end up on some shopping channel. The flight into space was also begining to worry me. Four minutes to travel 100 km (64 miles) into space reaching 2200 mph in what appeared to be a fiberglass fuel filled Robin Reliant with wings. I still wasn't keen on heights.

This was the first time I really considered sabotaging my creation and walking away. More time trundling along on the treadmill was needed to figure out who I was, who Taffanaut was and what we were trying to achieve. No one could have dreamed what was going on in my head. Slowly but surely an idea started to emerge from the depths of my mind and I began to change. I started to believe. Those people who know me will have seen a change. They may not have been able to put their finger on exactly what it was but they could see something was different. I kept quiet and revealed nothing. It was a self-feeding process. For the first time people around me seemed to contemplate the fact that I could win and as I saw them realise this then I believed more. This was all unsaid and unwritten but I could feel it.

Losing was no longer an option.

We were ready.

(1) Statement of Intent

My aim is simple. I want to be the first Welsh person in space (Taffanaut).

This blog is my attempt to document how I got to this point in time and why I want to be the first Welsh person in space and what I hope to achieve by doing so.

I am trying to write everything that I think is relevant in this blog as this seemed like the best way to share the information. I have a Facebook page that I am using to build a following so please check that out and if you like what you see then like the page.

https://www.facebook.com/Taffanaut

I decided that I need to write a blog because I couldn’t really get my point across on Facebook. I could only really write a few sentences before people would get bored and start looking for pictures of tambourine playing cats. I will continue to use Facebook to build a following and I will use this blog to share my story.

This is the first time I have ever written a blog so please bear with me, try and ignore any spelling mistakes and grammatical errors and enjoy the story. Go on you know you want to. Please don’t go searching for pictures of tambourine playing cats.

I will try my best to make it an interesting read.

Taffanaut

The Taffanaut Chronicles - Contents

(1) Statement of Intent

(2) The First Step - Death of the Dream

(3) The World Moved On

(4) Change - Taffanaut Found

(5) 13.7.13 - Taffanaut Lost

(6) The Illusion of Free Will - Taffanaut Regained

(7) The Proposal

(8) Business Case

(9) Press Release

(10) The Proposal (v2.0)

(11) The Game 

(12) The Full Taffanaut

(13) Cape Cymru

(14) Pope

(15) The Game Part 2 (Encapsulation)

(16) The Plan With No Name (in progress)

(17) Santa (Sponsor Request)

If you would like further information then please feel free to contact me:-

You can email me direct : Taffanaut email

You can message me via the Facebook page : Taffanaut page